Biz Bestie Chat #3 with Amber Lyda
Amber Lyda is back on the podcast for another biz bestie chat and let me tell you, we really went there.
But the vulnerability hangover was so worth it, because we know you’ll be able to relate to a lot of what we discussed, including:
✔️ How we practice prioritizing joy
✔️ How we measure successes and failures
✔️ The importance of building self-trust
✔️ Why (and how) we’re embracing the low-energy of Q3
Plus we spill on how we’re preparing for Q4 and what our goals are moving forward into the new year.
CLICK BELOW TO LISTEN!
Show Notes:
Hey, risers. Welcome to episode 127 of Empathy Rising. Today we are back with quarter three biz bestie chat. If you've been following along throughout the year, Amber Lyda and I have been taking you behind the scenes of our business and allowing you to kind of be like a fly on the wall into our conversations that we have daily.
On a very regular basis, we are on Voxer chatting about our businesses, our lives, and all of that stuff, the highs, the lows, and we thought this year we would take you along. If this is the first episode you are hearing, scroll back into the archives and go listen to episode one, which was in quarter one.
I don't know the exact date. And then episode two, which was in quarter two, so somewhere in the first beginning of the year, somewhere in the middle of the year. Now we're rounding out quarter three, and we talk about like, oh, what were we thinking based on Q1, and where are we now? And are we close to our goals? Are we far from our goals?
One of the favorite parts about these episodes - and I've gotten feedback from listeners on as well is how vulnerable... like Amber and I both said that we were probably going to have a vulnerability hangover after this one. Cause we go there. We talk about, like I said, the highs, the lows, the peaks, the valleys, what is so great about being your own boss, running your own business, stepping into more autonomy with an online income stream.
And we talk about all the crap that comes with it too because entrepreneurship is not always easy. It may be wonderful and fun and have great benefits, but there are also hard things about it. If there weren't hard things, everybody would be doing it. So we share that. We share the things we're struggling with.
Now, Amber is an alum of Side Hustle Support Group, which applications are open for right now, head on over to marissalawton.com/side-hustle. If you know you are just ready to straight-up apply and be part of our cohort for 2022. If you want to talk to more alumni like Amber and students from the past five rounds, you are more than welcome to come and RSVP for our open house.
On this open house, or I should say at this open house, there will be alumni from previous rounds to share their highs and lows, their great experiences, and their struggles and challenges with a side hustle. We'll also have our in-house copywriter and our in-house graphic designer there to show you how they support you throughout the program and how they really help you hone in these two skill sets that are important for succeeding online.
And then, of course, I will be there to answer all of your questions about the curriculum: How it works, if you're at the right place, if it feels like a right fit for you. And you can really start to envision yourself as part of the Side Hustle family. And you can see if 2022 is going to be the year that you join us.
So if you want to register for that open house, head on over to marissalawton.com/open house, and that's where you can go ahead and RSVP. Alright, so let's jump into quarter three's chat
Marissa (M): Hey, risers. Welcome back to the Empathy Rising podcast. I'm so excited to be back with our third biz bestie chat of the year. Amber and I have been checking in once a quarter each year.
So we have this one and then we'll do one more in December, sometime at the end of the year where we can kind of do maybe like I was thinking of like an annual summary. Maybe we'll go back and listen to episode the first one and from quarter one and see what happened, like what actually went right and what went wrong, and all that stuff.
But we're back with Amber Lyda of Online Therapist Group. If you would please introduce yourself, not that our listeners don't have a clue who you are because they all know you, but just in case there's one out there who isn't familiar, do a quick brief introduction, and then let's just start chatting.
Amber (A): Let's dive in. So again, my name's Amber, I run the Online Therapist Group on Facebook and the Online Therapy Academy where I offer courses, coaching, and consulting for therapists who are wanting to move online completely or even do a hybrid practice where they're part online part in person.
M: Yeah. If we've seen anything over the last 18 months, it's this ability to be flexible and adaptable, to have an online arm of your business, whether it's your main source of revenue or whether it's something on the side that depending on, you know, what happens in the real world that we can quickly lean into that online side and not lose revenue, not lose stability. And then there's always this creativity and fun and freedom aspect of being online as well.
A: Yeah.
M: So you're just coming off of a fabulous vacation. Tell us where you went, what you did, and if you worked at all on that vacation.
A: So my husband and I went to New Mexico, mostly New Mexico, also Colorado for about a month. So I use that as my, like, get a lot of stuff done beforehand. So I've actually been working way ahead of schedule for our launch, which is starting right now for our next round of step-by-step. And so I got a lot done before we went, and then I knew that I was going to be inspired while I was there to write really good emails.
So that's about the only work that I did is I wrote my really good emails. I've been taking Tarzan Kay's copywriting course, which is awesome. And the rest of the time, we mostly hung out in the woods. We hammocks out and we did some fly fishing. We did lots of camping and Airbnb - only the Airbnbs with hot tubs.
It was really, really nice just to get offline and go out and do some healing, really.
M: Yeah, I kept Voxing you like, have I convinced you to move out west yet? Or really has the west convinced you to move out west yet?
A: It's incredible. It's so different. And we did start looking for property. We're like, oh, what would it be like to, you know, get an investment property out here.
We could spend like three months out of the year out here and you know, Airbnb it the rest of the time.
M: I just got to get you one more state over into Arizona and then that'll be... do that next summer. Cause I'll be there like the summer after.
A: Nice. Well, maybe we'll wait until the summer after. Cause we also want to do Maine.
M: Oh, Maine's cool. I've only been to the beaches in Maine. I spent a lot of time in New Hampshire in college because I had a friend from high school who moved there and then spent a lot of time visiting her and got to know her friends up there. But I only did the beaches in Maine. I didn't do, like, the interior.
A: Yeah. Well, we're excited to do both. I mean, we have that rooftop tent now, so we feel like we can go anywhere and we've got big, huge, ugly wheels on the truck. So we can literally get to really random places that other people can't get to and be totally solo.
M: That's super cool. Well, because we're online. Why not have a summer house in Maine and a winter house in Arizona, and then you can be in Florida never.
A: No, I love Florida, Florida is my home. I love it. I love it. The day after we got here, got back to Florida, we're like, okay, gotta go to the beach. Immediately we have to get into the water.
M: Yeah, you gotta have the different ecosystems, right? Beach, mountains, desert, and then you can be wherever.
A: Exactly, you were talking about fractional ownership before we started the podcast. So maybe that's a thing too.
M: Yeah. So fractional ownership for anybody who's listening, we just like started talking. This is how we talk guys. We didn't really do a formal intro.
So fractional ownership, I've found, is different than a timeshare. People say timeshares are terrible investments and all this stuff, but what fractional ownership does is you actually get a piece of the title and you share in the equity of the home.
So they're usually divided by like eight people. And so you own an eighth of the house. And so you get more like 5, 6, 7 weeks a year versus like the one week that you get with a timeshare. And so the time is more equitable. It's split up between people who know each other. You know, the other owners are able to come communicate with them and everything like that, but you can still have a property manager manage all of the maintenance and stuff like that.
So it's really a cool alternative that we're looking into more than having investment properties where everything is on you. This allows you to still do the travel, stay in like, quote-unquote your own house, but not have the maintenance piece. So kind of neat.
A: You're diversifying your income and you're having that work-life balance because you're not adding too much pressure.
M: A hundred percent. And you can still sell your, like, let's say you were talking about doing this in Italy because again, we don't want to buy a house and maintain a house oceans away.
So let's say we buy a Villa in Tuscany. Cause we're dreaming, right? And so we... like the fractional ownership that I've been looking at, it's in euros of course. So it was like 160 euros, which came close to like $200,000. Right? And so say you buy that fractional ownership in 2022.
And then you realize you don't go there as much as you want, or whatever, in 2025, you sell your fractional ownership and now you get $250,000 back. So it's like you get to recoup the appreciation with which, with a timeshare, you don't.
A: That's fantastic. So basically you vacation for free and you've earned some income along the way.
M: Yeah. Isn't that neat? So cool. All these cool possibilities. So we're quarter three in our businesses. This is always the most interesting time of year for me. It feels a little bit like a slump almost. So quarter one for the beginning of the year, everything's new and fresh and exciting and all these ideas.
It's like, oh, let me have some CEO time and plan out what the next 365 days are going to look like. And then summertime with the girls home, always, you know, poses a little bit of a challenge for me, but summer still has kind of this like brightness and excitement to it. Then we get into fall. And I don't know if you guys can hear, but it's like pouring rain here.
So part of it has to do with where I live, but like it's pouring rain here and schools back in session, but there's nothing really to look forward to. It's just kind of like humdrum. It's kind of how I feel about it. And then, of course, holidays come and quarter four is always big, usually for any business, but it's a pretty big quarter for my business.
And then, you know, we were back to the beginning of the year. So do you ever have a slump? Does it happen to be quarter three or when do you find a slump in your business?
A: Right now. Exactly the same. And I usually go into this launch, because I'm launching right now, with less energy. And this time around, we actually made the decision that instead of true live launching, we took the recordings that I did last time and repurposed.
M: Awesome. I'm going to pause. So do you repurpose from like the spring launch or do you kind of have a different set of stuff for spring and a different set for fall?
A: We're repurposing from the spring launch. The trainings went really, really well. They were high quality and I was like, why in the world would I redo these trainings? Especially cause I don't have the same energy this time of year. So I don't feel like I'll bring that same vibe.
So instead we went through and parsed all of it out. And actually today, right after this podcast, we're meeting to talk about the dates that each training will go out, and we're just going to drip the content and then have live time together to do like Q and A's after the training.
M: Yeah. I'm all about repurposing. Every once in a while I talk with my students about this. Like, when you position an offer, sometimes it makes sense to position offers based on a timeframe or a current event. I have a student who is working on a program for sexual empowerment and she's launching in December.
And so it's like the gift of pleasure. Right? So it makes sense to align your positioning with the time of year. But there's other ways that you can position that aren't so time-bound, and playing around with that because sometimes a more time-bound launch, especially if there's a current event that's important to your audience.
COVID for example, right? Like using the changes that happened with the pandemic and using those in your positioning. I had an event planned for March of 2020. We ended up pushing it to April of 2020 because everything got so screwed up. And the positioning before COVID was like, oh, come ask these really established experts whatever questions you have.
And then after we repositioned the event really quickly and I made it out to be more like, see how these experts have diversified, see how they have stabilized their income. So sometimes you have to react to time-bound. But having more timeless launch materials that are not positioned based on a current event can allow you to repurpose.
A: Absolutely. And I think your audience will remember that I talked about how we adjusted really quickly to the pandemic, but then the next launch, after that, I had not changed my messaging any, but the audience was in a totally different place. They'd already been doing it online. So at that point, I needed to change up my messaging.
Now fingers crossed that the messaging should be consistent this time with last time. We will see it's all an experiment. Then I'm going to have to rework it again because I think properly two launches for me are about as long as I can go with the same messaging because the world is just evolving really quickly with telehealth.
So question for your business: What I see all the time, I'm sure it's with everybody, but I know therapists, is that they imagine that it's going to be so much easier than it's going to be to create a side hustle.
I mean, they really feel like it's going to be an easy peasy process. So to me, it makes sense that some of them might choose the self-paced version and then realize like, oh, I'm going to need some more help. But how are you getting people ready to purchase your product? Because it is so thorough and there's so much content and it is a longer-term commitment.
It's a higher price point than a lot of people think that they should have to pay. And my experience having gone through it is: you freaking need it. If you want to have a sustainable business, you really have to go through something like this. Otherwise, you're going to be piecemealing it and spending a lot more money over a longer period of time to get the same, maybe, results.
But how do you get your potential audience to understand that they're going to need something like this thorough?
M: Yeah, I think most of the time people are coming to me, they're looking for something this thorough, right? Like we have... this is the earliest it's ever been. We have six people enrolled in Side Hustle already.
And usually, I have one, maybe two who's like, can I get in now? And they're just riding along. They're in early, they've paid their deposit and stuff like that. But this year there's already six people before October. I haven't even publicly, at the time of recording, I have yet to publicly say, applications are open.
I'm sure as this goes live, it'll be a few weeks. But these are people who've just been asking me about the program. And so what I have, and I feel very fortunate to have, is I have brand recognition and I have trust in the market. A lot of people come to me after they've done some of these quicker-fix programs.
And they're like, okay, well that got me so far. But it didn't get me all the way. And you know, we've talked about the fact that I, you know, extended from a six month to nine months. I really honestly feel it's the best decision I could have made for myself. And I can talk about myself for the business owner standpoint, but also for the students and for the course itself.
There's a couple of other programs on the market. They're evergreen style. So people get like 12 months of support, but they can come in kind of whenever they want. And some of my students have been in those types of programs and said, you know, I liked the cohort style. I liked being told what we're working on each week.
And I like being told, like, do this first, do this second, do this third. Not from a micromanaging way, but from like a let's put on the blinders, let's put on the blinders, and let's just take this next step, and then this next step. And I have students right now in Side Hustle. Cause we are, we're just about to graduate.
We have people executing their first live launch right now and it's so exciting. We're recording on a Monday. One of the students had her hype event, her webinar yesterday. Another one has it tomorrow. So we're like right recording right between two people's launches and it's just impeccable to see that.
But even with them, they're asking like, okay, so what about this? And I'm like, that's three lessons from now, right? Hang on with me, hang tight with me. Trust me. We'll get there. I promise that information will fall into place, but just don't get ahead of yourself and don't be like... just stay with me. And I think some students it's like, I'm kind of dragging with me, like, come on, come on, come on. And other students I'm reigning in. I'm like, no, stay back with me, stay back with me.
A: Yeah.
M: You were definitely a reigner-in. So your original point, like, is it easier said than done? I do think there are some people who think it might be easier. What I think is: It is entirely possible.
Just do the steps. Do the steps and it will be possible. There's a couple of students, like the one who launched yesterday, she had 55 people to show up to her first webinar. 30 people are already on her list, and she's got 250 or 200 plus people in her audience. She started building an audience in June, right?
She had no audience coming in. So sometimes there's a little bit of magic. You know, right place, right time, right message. It just all hits immediately and that's it hit for her. It doesn't hit for everybody that quickly, and that's one of the things I say is when we talk about audience building when we talk about promotion.
It will work. It is effective. The timeframe within which it works is going to be different for every single person.
A: I agree. And the other thing about your program that I think really benefited me, not that we're trying to sell your program right now, but I'm just thinking about the mechanics of why it was so helpful.
So I'm watching people come out of incredibly expensive programs that make crazy promises and six weeks, yadda, yadda, yadda, just give us a bunch of money and then dump a bunch of money into Google ads or Facebook ads or YouTube ads. And without somebody to walk them through the micro-steps, there are teeny tiny little errors, maybe a messaging, maybe in the audience they chose for an ad or whatever that if a coach had been with them on that journey, they could have tweaked.
And instead, now they've invested all this money, all this time in the launch is a "failed" launch. And they don't know why, because they didn't have somebody looking at their work as they went along. And that was something you really saved me with in terms of like each and every step in terms of messaging, in terms of follow-up with people that it wouldn't have even occurred to me, like, oh yeah, I do need to send a thank-you email. And then a series of emails after that, you know.
M: That should be the tagline for Side Hustle. Side Hustle Support Group: You'll send way more emails than you thought you needed to.
A: And they'll work.
M: They'll work, I promise. So as you're going into this, to your launch, are there things now that you know, to look for? Like, okay, this domino didn't fall down, or oh we need to intervene now quickly, or even like, okay, thumbs up, green light, things are rocking and rolling. Like, how do you prepare for your launches and how are you preparing for the rest of Q3 and then going into Q4?
A: I would say that this last quarter I focused so much on my health that it's helped me to think about streamlining the business as much as possible because I've had to think about systems because I just don't have the energy at the time that I had when I was first getting going, and I was like, you know, miss exuberant.
So I've been, you know, chasing down all this medical stuff. And then my perspective on the business is really different. Like, okay, so what do I need to do in terms of systems? So that as the ever-evolving world keeps making launches need to look different, at least I'm not reinventing every single time I'm able to use these systems.
So we've been hyper-focused on looking at all of the results of everything that we've done so far. I have never looked at so many email click rates and all of that. I have a spreadsheet now of every email I've ever sent and what the results of those emails were.
I've moved from MailerLite to Kartra, which gives me way more analytics and also allows me to... it's a pain in the butt honestly, like I've had mixed feelings about that program and the switch over, but we'll see what we're going to give it a year and see what happens, but I'm able to see so much more on the backend.
So it's helping me be much more strategic about what we do rather than doing, you know, so much that some of it, of course, it's going to stick now. I'm trying to do, like, what do I need to do? What are the things that have stuck in the past? And let me continue doing those, but I don't need to do 300% effort.
I can do a hundred percent of my effort and that's good. Cause I know the right things to put my time into.
M: Yeah. So I wrote an email and I sent a picture over to you of what I wrote. And I was like, you know, talking about these friends that I've met and along my journey of online business. And one thing that I learned from you is, you know, that everything doesn't have to be so forced and everything doesn't have to be so, like, 100% perfect that there is an element of play.
And then if I can speak for you, what I think you've picked up for me is reigning in a little bit. And you know, I'm not shying away, but I'm watching my language around this word balance. And I'm trying to swap the word balance with this word dance, right?
And so I think there's a dance between playfulness, experimentation, and also then you dance to the other side of, you know, like efficiency, effectiveness, and all that stuff. And so where do you find yourself in that dance?
A: Well, I think just like you talked about seasons and you know, at the beginning of the year, we're also amped up and we've got our 365-day plan. I think this is a season for me of more reflection and being more strategic and systemized so that I have room for the fun and the playfulness because sometimes as you know, I'll go really hard into exuberance and I will commit to more things than it is possible for me to really fall through with, and then I'm burnt out.
So I'm really practicing the dance of how can I maintain space for the fun. And the only way I can maintain that space is by saying no a lot more than I'm used to. And by being more strategic about where I'm putting that time.
M: Yeah. What are you saying no to now?
A: So I started doing this thing in my emails because I'm just overwhelmed by email where I'm labeling them as like, yes, I want to answer or no, I don't. And yes, I want to answer because it's good for me and my business or it's good for them and their business. And then I'm making myself do the me and my business first.
And then if I have time, I will respond to the ones from our fellow entrepreneurs that are asking for something for me that doesn't do anything for my business but would be super helpful for them because I want to do those things.
But in the past, I just said yes to all of them. And then the things that are good for me, my business, my family ended up at the very bottom of the list. So now I have a little system in place and I'm switching that up and saying no to those kinds of things, or at least putting them off for a little while.
M: Yeah. When we're talking about saying no and we're talking about prioritizing joy and fun, is this only happening business-wise or are you seeing this show up in other areas of your life?
A: Oh girl, no. Showing up, it's showing up. I mean, I really, I already believed so firmly that the importance... like we're here for such a short period of time if we're not getting to play and have fun and be of service in a way that lights us up, be in service to people that help light us up, then what the heck is the point of all of it?
But then add to that all of this medical crap and trying to think of that just makes me feel like... in fact, I was at the pool yesterday at YMCA. And I watched this guy. I was like, oh, it's cold. I don't want to get in there. You know, like not wanting to do it.
I want to swim, but whatever this guy gets in there and he's swimming his butt off. And I noticed he has one arm. I'm like, holy crap. Like he's swimming his butt off with one arm. And I'm thinking about like, I should really appreciate how much my body is able to do and take advantage of that while my body is able to do it.
And I'm thinking that, and I'm still only halfway in the pool. And then this woman walks in and I swear, she's like 12 months pregnant. She was pregnant and she gets into the pool and she starts doing laps.
I'm like, alright, Amber, you know, like, come on, let's step into what you know is healthy for you because we don't know how long we're going to have the bodies or the mental capabilities, or even in terms of business, how long the market is going to support the sort of business that we're offering. So be active in that, and then take naps.
M: Okay. So that's what I was just going to follow up. It's like, what if you're in a slump, not only like, you know, maybe it's a business lump that's showing up in your revenue or, or just an emotional, energetic slump, which is what I'm going through right now.
What is, you know... when you have goals for your business and yet you're in this energetic slump, how do you reconcile those two? Because like, do you just give up on your goals, or do you push through, or is there a bit of both like a re-imagining of what the picture looks like for now? Like, do you know what I'm saying? Like what, what's your take on that?
A: Totally. I mean, there have been times where I have pushed off dates that I had planned to do. Like you push from March to April because of other situations. Right? So there've been times where I've pushed off dates. There are times when I just sleep a lot. Like this past week, I slept a lot.
I think the importance of systems is so that, you know if I wanted to do... I was in a super exuberant mood, I would do a big live launch, but I'm not. And I have these recordings, so I'm going to lean onto that. And I have all these old emails that I've sent. So I'm just going to repurpose those. And then I think also for me is building in big, big chunks.
This is going to sound so entitled, big, big chunks of no work. Like whether it be the month vacation or whether it be like, you know what, for the next six weeks, I'm not working after 2:00 PM. I'm just not.
M: I mean, is there an entitlement? Perhaps. I don't see it that way though. I see it as that's what we do this for.
A: Agree.
M: You know, you and I, that's one of our values that are similar in our lives. And we have built into our business is this idea of time, freedom, this idea of, you know, perhaps location, independence, financial independence, for sure. But also time freedom, like really cultivating that lifestyle to look like what you want picking and choosing, curating, just like you would curate a library, just like you would curate a museum. Curate what the hell your life looks like
.
A: Girl, so this is something I totally wanted to talk to you about today. So related to this, I'm watching some of our colleagues, our entrepreneurial friends, and some of them are going for the multi-millions like these huge businesses. And I look at it and I think that's amazing. But also I know the life that you're having to live to hit those kinds of goals.
And I don't want to. I'm happy to make, you know, I'd be super thrilled to be making like 250 or 500 grand a year. Like, hell yeah. I'll be like, Ooh! Like take-home pay. That would be insane. And I would be totally freaking satisfied with that. Like, I don't have any desire... I'd be happy to be making 150 because I don't have the desire to do the hustle that is necessary, that is usually necessary, to be doing like multi-millions every year. If there's some path to that I can protect my lifestyle in, you know? M: You hire a bunch of people and then your profit margin goes down the tubes.
A: That's right. Well, exactly. No, thank you. No, thanks. That feels like too much to me. I don't want to have to hold that much. I don't want my business to feel that heavy or like this... too many people in the business feels just overly complicated to me. I want it to be simple.
M: Yeah. Well, I mean, since you went there with numbers, I'm happy to go there with numbers. So for my, like, perfect... Let's go ideal. It's: Are these numbers out there? So what I need to make each year to hit my goals is 235.
That's gross revenue because when you take the taxes off of that, it ends up being 1 65. And then that 165, the way it is split up is 50 goes to my team, which is three people. So 50,000 the in-house graphic designer and the in-house copywriter for Side Hustle.
Another chunk of that is for my marketing agency. And then the remaining goes to what I spend for ads over the year. And then a hundred thousand dollars go straight into the house account because I want to buy a house in cash when Josh gets out of the army.
So I've been putting close to, not every year I don't hit it, but close to a hundred thousand dollars in a mutual fund, which you were talking about compound interest before we started hitting record into a mutual fund. So it is just growing and growing and growing exponentially until our retirement date.
And then that only gives me $15,000 which is just play money. That's the three $5,000 vacations a year. It's five, $3,000 vacations a year. It's, you know, oh, what did we buy? We bought kayaks and whatever, right? Because I'm, again talk about privilege and fortunate, but Josh's income pays all of our living expenses and, you know, girls college fund, like any extras or anything like that.
We've always only lived off of one income. So my sweet spot number is 235. Have there been years where I've made more than that? Yep. What am I going to make this year? Probably right at that, probably right at that. And that's gross revenue again. I'm taking home technically 115, but I don't touch a hundred of it. So I'm hopefully paying myself $15,000 because I have an astronomical savings goal.
A: Okay, this random tax question. Are you able to put that a hundred thousand in that mutual fund pre-tax or is it post-tax?
M: I do it post-tax because I just pay, I pay, I overpaid my taxes. I pay taxes on just any revenue that comes in. I don't take my expenses out first.
Which you can, you can take your expenses out first and then pay taxes on the remainder. Usually, it's expenses, taxes, and then profit. I do it the other way round. I do taxes off just the top because it's easier math for me. And then I just know that it's going to be a refund at the end of the year. There's been years where I've gotten $22,000 back.
A: I love it.
M: And then it goes in the house account. I mean, we did put a deck on the house, so that came out of that, and then so whatever was left went in the house account. So it's like we don't live like I have a multi six-figure business.
We live like we're a one-income family that gets to take good vacations, basically. Right. But the point of that is because in four years we're going to have a $700,000 house paid for in cash. And then what will our lifestyle be like? So there's a little bit of a delayed gratification there.
And to your point, like, this is the one thing about online income that gets criticized, that I do agree with is there is people call it like a pyramid scheme or whatever, but people teaching other people what they know, like coaches coaching coaches how to be coaches kind of thing. I think there's some legitimacy to that.
Like, let me teach you my method because it's worked for me, perhaps it'll work for you. There is a bit of methodology in my programs. I do teach a lot. Like I do show my students what I do. It's not the only thing I teach though. I teach real strategies that work regardless of who you are, but I also will be like, hey, here's what I'm doing this month.
Here's how it works. So I'm modeling in real-time. But we're starting to see if, if you have been in the online space for a while, or if you went back to your favorite podcast and listened to it three years ago, it would be how to make your first six figures. Now all those people already make six figures plus, and so now it's how to make your first seven figures.
So it's like as people get more in the experience, they're just passing down what they've learned. Again, pros and cons to that, but it's also making it feel like that's the normal thing. Seven figures is the new six figures.
A: Absolutely. And just to add to this point, a lot of it is false. So sometimes when people are saying seven figure, really either some of them make it up, they just flat out make it up.
Hopefully, not many others will say seven-figure business. What they don't tell you is that it's gross, not net, right? And that their expenses took up all but a hundred thousand. Like their staff, their taxes, whatever. And so really it frustrates me because I want to know: What is your take-home pay?
I don't give a shit about how much your business is making. I care about, like, what are you being able to do to secure the lifestyle or pass on generational wealth to your kids? If people are making money by selling this idea that they're going to teach you how to take home a lot of cash, but they're really not taking home that cash themselves. It pisses me off.
M: Right. And I think that's where transparency comes in and in your business, for sure. And in my business, like that's one of my top tier values is transparency.
That's why I share numbers on this podcast, even though, you know, you're legally, you're advised by your accountant and things to not share numbers, to share more percentages or ranges, but hell I just like shared exact numbers, you know? And it's more important to me to be transparent than to protect myself.
A: What is the protection like, what is that supposed to do to not share the number?
M: Um, just like exactly what you're saying. People can be like, well, I mean... some people can be cooking their books, and then they're like, wait, you said this number, but you reported this number. Like, you know what I mean?
So stuff like that. And then it's just kind of a hot water topic. I think people are just still like we'll talk about money, but we'll talk about it in terms of percentages. We'll talk about money, but we'll talk about ranges, you know? And so it's still not an estimate.
A: Which to me, it just sets people up for not knowing what to truly expect. And then we see therapists who are like, you know, I'm gonna make $250,000 in my private practice in the first year. You know, well, maybe. That would be awesome. Great.
But if people aren't being honest about what they're making on average, then it just sets up an unrealistic expectation and really, really troubles me.
I've made decisions in my business based on what I've heard from other entrepreneurs about what I should be making at this stage only to find out that those other entrepreneurs weren't making that money at that stage. So some personal feels.
M: Right. So you know my number that I need to make in 2022 is 235. My goal for 2022 is 325. But I know what my bottom line is. And I think that that's really important. Can you have ambition and can you want more and work for more and like, you know, play and experiment and do those things that might get you more revenue? Sure. But know what your bottom line is.
And another point is revenue shouldn't, in my... I'll come out and say shouldn't, we could say couldn't it, we could soften it a little bit, but I'm going to say shouldn't be the only driver. It may be your primary driver right now. Like if you've got 30 clients a week and you're dying and you're like, can I shrink my caseload?
I need to make money in a different way. Like revenue can be a primary driver. I don't think it should be the only driver. I had a student go through the six-month round of Side Hustle, so not the nine months, and her group program had, I think, I want to say, eight students. It might have been six, but it might've been eight several.
Let's go, several students enroll for her program and didn't make - she has a very high, hourly rate - and so she didn't make from that program, what she would've made if she had just seen clients during those hours. And in her mind, it was a failure.
And in my mind, it was like: In six months, you've got several, I can't, I can't remember the number off the top of my head so I won't say the number, but you've got several students in a group program in six months. It's not a failure in my mind, but when you're prioritizing only revenue, then it could be measured that way.
A: Except that starting any sort of online business, starting any kind of business, isn't about what you make in the first year.
M: Sure, the brick and mortar business, and you get a business loan, they don't expect you to be in the black for five years.
A: Exactly, exactly. And so that you made any money in the very first iteration of your program is incredible. That you got any signups at all. I mean, that's like double high-fives.
M: And so what I, that's what I really value about your outlook on things. The playfulness, the experimentation, the "let's see what works" and "let's, let's try it this way next time". And is that exhausting? Yeah, we were talking about before we hit record, how, you know, having to reinvent the wheel every time can be exhausting.
But I think that if we change our mindset and reframe it a little bit, which I need because I'm in this energetic slump, if we have a reframe about the fact that we get to play with the way that we make our livelihood and that our livelihood is for our lifestyle it's, I think it's magic. Like there's nothing better.
A: It's fun when the playfulness is coming from excitement to try something new. What feels tiresome for me, and, you know, I'm just going to adapt because it's a privilege to be able to do this, is how the market changes. So like, you know, how Facebook ad changes or how the Apple iOS updates have affected how ads are run or all of those kinds of out-of-my-control things that change the way that I'm going to have to do a launch.
For example, after I've figured out my sweet spot of launches, that's tiresome. It's a price I am absolutely willing to pay to have the ability to live this life and do the cool things that we're getting to do. But that's the factor that really sometimes it feels like it's hard to get ahead of.
Like I figured it out, you know. I love that sensation of like, I've figured it out. I know how to make this, this online business thing work. And then there's some big change that happens in the market, a pandemic, for example. And you're like, okay, so that way isn't going to work the next time. How am I going to adjust course to make it work this time?
M: And I think we feel it more acutely in online business. And I think we feel it more acutely because we're not, we're not solopreneurs anymore. We were when we started, right? We now have people who work for us, but we're still very close to our businesses, but they're like, I mean... let's look at Applebee's right?
Like Applebee's. Steady customer base. They're always going to be there. They're there Friday night date or whatever is Applebee's or whatever, but there are times when Applebee's may be really popular, for some reason, they might introduce a new rib... that's Chili's, whatever.
And so they get this influx of sales and then sales wayne back to the Friday night regulars. And then, you know, so even brick and mortar businesses have this. Like the only thing that I can think of is like, if you were in a teeny tiny, like one-stoplight town and you are the general store, then you're going to probably always have steady business.
A: Except Amazon comes along and undermines your business.
M: Right. Or somebody else's like there's, you know, Mack Daddy's general store. Well, I'm going to open Sweet Mama's general store on the other corner, right. So there's always going to be new changes in the market.
I just think we feel it maybe more acutely because we're closer to our businesses. I don't know. What do you think about that?
A: I think, at least for me, I think it's just developmental. I think that you know, we had talked about before we hit record that sometimes things just come together. And when I started my business, a lot of things just came together. You know, like I just happened to hit the market at the right time.
There were a lot of lucky pieces. And so it was a very easy start to an online business as far as easy as it can be. It was an easy start. And so now as I'm moving from, you know, am I going to be a one-hit-wonder versus am I going to stay at the top of the charts. You know, that's a different place to be in the business.
And it's something different to have a business that sustains over time versus one that, you know, had a hit.
M: That really resonated with me. Cause I feel like I'm on my third or fourth album, you know what I mean? Cause like I had my debut album and that was like writing websites and writing copy for therapists.
And then like, you know, your debut album is always like what the record label wants it to be. And then you, you got to like follow that up with your second album. And if you've got a second album that does well, then it's like, okay, you're like a legit artist. And I feel like side hustle in the beat, like the first round when it was still six months, all that, right?
Like that was like my second album of like here's who I really am. And then I've launched a successful third album and I'm coming up on my fourth album and it's do I still have the chops?
A: Right. That's what I love thinking about is like, how do I live on vacation, and thankfully my husband is very vacation-oriented. So like, he naturally will say things like...
M: Well he's self-employed now, too.
A: Yeah. Yeah. He'll be like, do you want to go to the beach this afternoon? It wouldn't have occurred to me.
We live two blocks from the beach. Why would it not have occurred to me? I'll be like, yes. And we sat on the beach. I'm like this freaking vacation like we're living on vacation right now. This is amazing.
M: That is something I have started doing on a daily basis. I go to the gym, I get home, and I'm starting work at like 10:30 lately, which never would have been my thing. My thing would have been to start at seven in the morning. And I've been studying a lot about chronotypes and believing like, am I a morning person or a night person?
There's actually four different chronotypes, one is that quintessential morning person. One is that quintessential night person. And there's two in between. And what I'm coming to realize is I'm probably actually one of the in-between. I'm not great at night. I'm not great after lunch, but I also don't have to be first thing in the morning either.
And so I come home from the gym, I get breakfast, and I watch a TV show at 8:30 in the morning. And I know that sounds really stupid, but it's like, it's like a cooking show. Stanley Tucci is doing this series on HBO about touring all the provinces in Italy, not just like the fancy main ones, but like going to all of them. There's like 20 or 22. And so I've been watching those. And then I go to work at like 9:43.
A: So for me, the Chronos seems to be changing based on where my hormones are.So I'm going through perimenopause right now, super fun. And so there was a period of time, it was like two, three weeks long where I was waking up at 5:00, 5:30, ready to freaking go.
Which is bizarre. I've never felt that way in my life. And I would be done working by like 10:30, because I would have already put in three, four hours and I'm like, okay, now what? Right now that's not where my body is. My body's in a different place. It's doing different things.
So speaking of privilege, like one of the amazing parts of entrepreneurial life is being able to adjust your schedule to whatever your body... like your optimal self. You can build your life around that optimal self. Even if that optimal self changes, you know, week to week or month to month.
M: Yeah. Being able, I mean, three of my students, I think actually more of my students. It's more have ADHD, but three of them are creating programs for ADHD right now. And that piece of it, the connection between ADHD and entrepreneurship... my father was diagnosed, I was never diagnosed, but the more I learned from these students, I'm like, hmm, that's interesting.
That could quite possibly be showing up for me. But for people who have neuro differences or even just fucking preferences, like we can have a label for it. We can have a legit reason for it, or we can just want it and you can build your business around whatever you want that day. There are days... so this is not as grand as taking a vacation, but this year we got to go to the book fair at my kid's school.
Last year, we couldn't go at all. It had to be all done online. This year, we got to go. We all wore masks and everything. But on a random, it must've been a Tuesday or Thursday. Thursday. I got to go to my kid's school. I got to knock on their door and they were like, my mom's at my school. And I got to go take them and buy them books at the book fair.
And they were totally surprised and had no idea. So tiny, like little things. It doesn't have to be "we're talking about living on vacation", cause that's a fantasy. But showing up and surprising your kid at school, going and having lunch in the cafeteria with them, like small things like that.
There were two days last week where I was just like, I'm not fucking working today. Like not doing it. And one day I laid in bed all day and I was still in bed in my pajamas when Josh brought the girls home. And then the other day, I don't remember what I did. I think I just messed around my house.
A: I mean, even the benefit of knowing. So like my high progesterone day, I am in a coma. Knowing most times I don't have things scheduled, I get to work when I feel like working because that's how I set my business up. So when a high progesterone day, if I want to watch lifetime movies for most of the day and lay in bed, then I can do that.
That's why it's worth the price of admission of having to adapt to changes in the market. Because the lifestyle you get to live is super different.
M: Bringing it full circle. Yeah. I still don't want it to be a high-stakes game for me forever. I still... maybe this is a fantasy. I still hold out for the day when I get the amount of money where I do get to like...
A: Everything's a choice.
M: Yeah, and I say scale back, but like I work four hours a week or...four hours a week... that'd be great. No, four hours a day. So like, what am I scaling back from? Why do I still feel this like energy?
A: There's a difference between choosing and having to... so when I was making most of my income from my private practice, everything about the other business, the courses, the consulting felt like a choice.
It felt optional, but as soon as that shifted and I'd much rather be making most of my money in courses and consulting and coaching. So what I was hoping for. But as soon as it shifted, it felt like less of a choice because now I have to make money in that business, or I can't pay for my bills.
M: That's fascinating because that's exactly right. And so with these chats, I hope people see the marketing that I've worked very hard on to make it look pretty for you guys and to sound like something that you want, but to also hear what any entrepreneur goes through at any level, right?
There's the imposter syndrome of like, just starting. And then there's me who I'm going on my sixth round of this program that is like there's already tons of people registered and it's only gotten better and better.
And I'm still like, is this the time that it's going to flop? Is this the one that it's not going to work? So it's it just, it doesn't... just having more money or having more quote-unquote success doesn't change these things. It has to change with you.
A: Exactly right. Wherever you go, there you are. Whatever your issues are going to come into your business.
There's like the practical pieces of, you know if the market changes, I know you adapt. You're just going to figure it out, and then there's the emotional underneath it. It's like, and what does it feel like?
M: Yeah. Ah, especially if it comes in the middle of something. Like it's one thing to see the change, but with your launch you were talking about where the change happened in the middle and you'd already had so much built and it's like, okay, do I scrap it all and pull out and just throw all the work away?
Do I ride with the work that I've done and just see what happens? You know, then you have a choice to make.
A: Yeah. And then like back to like the fun pieces, you know, we had talked about adding coaching to my step-by-step program as like a level up, which is what it's called. I've been thinking about that for us... I was about to say semesters... for several iterations of step-by-step and hadn't done it yet.
And I just happened to add it during a launch that ended up not making as much money as I expected it to at least from the course, but then it balanced out because of the level of coaching. And so it ended up hitting the exact same numbers and that came from, thankfully, it came from listening to my intuition that this was something I wanted to do and doing it.
But even if it hadn't, it could have come from adapting to a changing situation. I could have added it from that place too.
M: What I think more than anything comes from entrepreneurship is self-trust. Self-trust. And I used to call this resiliency, but I've even been changing the terms I use around this for self-trust like, yes, resiliency, 100%.
You will be resilient when things don't work or when things go differently than planned. But more than that is this ability to look yourself in the mirror and say: I will figure it out. I trust in myself to figure it out for me. That's very tied to money. I trust in myself to be able to make the revenue happen in one way or another.
And also there's like, some people might be cultivating self-trust in the terms of like helping somebody a new fashion. I trust my ability to learn how to become a good teacher in my course. I trust in my ability to learn how to foster a community with a membership site or whatever. Right. Like, just knowing that you have got you.
A: That's so helpful to think about. So if I think about what is it that I'm having to trust myself around? It's very much around, like, I need to learn to trust myself to be of service and be helpful and build relationships without getting consumed.
M: Hmm.
A: Because that's what I do. And so then I do one or the other. Either I go all in and I get consumed or I withhold completely and that's not going to work. So even like... you and I years ago now we're talking about like, I needed to start talking to people about marketing more. At first, I didn't even put it in the course. And then I added it into the course.
And then I created the marketing minis. And for those of you who don't know, the marketing minis was a terrible idea. Marissa told me that maybe I didn't want to do it this way, but I didn't have confidence in my ability to teach marketing. And so I made it super-duper cheap. And then I committed to giving a lesson a week for 52 weeks and people paid about a hundred bucks for 52 lessons about marketing.
But what I did know, you know, there are things I wish I would've done differently with that, but what I did know was I do have to lean into marketing. And that was my way of putting my toe in the water of like, how can I do it without feeling like I'm going to have to give my full, my total self.
And that was by keeping the price low. And I was going to do many marketing lessons, but you know, they turned into major marketing lessons. But now I'm being able to create a course about marketing for an online practice because I did that early work. I have all those lessons done and I built my confidence around teaching marketing for an online practice.
M: I think it goes back to kind of what I was talking about of revenue not being the only driver and also revenue not being the only thing we value. In our capitalistic society, we put so much value on the money that we make and we don't value the experience, the learning curve that you went through.
You know, the ability to then, okay, now I have the confidence to do this on a bigger scale.I didn't make the money from it. And then we can see that as resentful, or we can see that as the waste of time or a loss of whatever.
But what if you were to value the other angle? I now have this huge asset that I can sell for three times the price, or I now have just the trust in myself. Going back to that point of I trust in my ability to teach this new kind of material.
A: Absolutely and feeling like, I think that for me to balance out the codependency of I have to over emotionally deliver to people who bought that, I dropped the price so much that I was able to just put the material on the website and I didn't, you know, love up on and hug up on and create Facebook group and email, you know, I didn't do all of those extras.
Now I feel like I've worked through some of the codependency stuff. And built up my confidence enough that I can sell it as a course without having to over codependent all over it.
M: Right, yeah.
A: Not making up for something with my like over taking care of people. M: I get that a hundred percent. Like when I sold the self-guided Side Hustle, I was like, will this thing work without me?
A: Yeah.
M: Like, why wouldn't it work without me? But that's a thought you have when you're selling your intellectual property, you're selling your knowledge. And I do think it's a confidence piece. Like, will this come across without me there to re-explain it three times?
A: Or to read the room and adjust the message?
M: And also... I don't remember what I was going to say. The confidence piece and then also something else. I don't know.
A: That's like, is the material for me? Does the material stand on its own? Or do people buy from me because I emotionally take care of them?
M: That resonates with me. So what's fascinating to get a little woo on this is, you know, we're coming up in October, which tends to be Scorpio season, which tends to be where you explore your shadow.
And I feel like this has been an episode of exploring our shadow. That's what we'll call it. We'll call it: A Biz Bestie Q3: The Shadow Side.
A: I'm going to have a vulnerability hangover after this.
M: For sure. So I guess we went a little to the dark side. What do you want everybody's biggest takeaway to be from today, like summing up some of the dark side but also bringing it maybe back into the lighter side, the good sides, shining a light on entrepreneurship?
A: It's a hundred percent normal and okay for you to have any of the doubts that you're having and to hit up on any of the issues that you have. If we have successful businesses and that happens for us, it's going to happen for you. And that's totally okay.
You're not alone. And if you're doing something and it doesn't feel like it's working, it doesn't mean that it won't work. And sometimes we just have to adapt things.
We have to tweak something here or there, and often it's really minor. And it makes a really big difference from changing, you know, a little sentence in your copy to a color on your website. Sometimes it's just minor. And so it can feel really big because we can make it about ourselves when it's not about ourselves. It's usually about something minor that you just didn't know.
M: Yeah. I say that a lot. It's not always a square peg in a round hole. Sometimes it's like round peg, round hole, and the peg just needs to be shimmed down a little bit to fit better, you know? I love what you're saying.
It just because like taking a look at the time frame, taking a look at your expectations, and my hope is that if you can be maybe more aware of some of your baggage, we'll say going into this, taking a look at the lifestyle piece ahead of time and your triggers ahead of time, then you will be that much more prepared for them.
And they may not bother you as much, or you will have the tools because we all teach the tools every day in session. So use your own tools to kind of get through them, and maybe your entrepreneurial journey will be a little more smooth. I won't say it won't be bumpy, but it might be a little more smooth.
A: It's so worth it. And wherever you are, you can live a little bit more like you're on vacation right now. Even if it means just getting out on the porch tonight with, you know, your little spritzers or whatever, there's a little bit of vacation to be lived every single day, no matter where you are in your business.
M: Yeah. I love that. Awesome. Well, tell everybody where they can follow up with you. If they're wanting to maybe maintain, sustain the online arm of their business, or if they're wanting to grow that and potentially move all the way online, let go of some of their in-person.
A: Well, anything you need to know about me, you can find at amberlyda.com.
It's A M B E R L Y D A .com. And if you need help, starting from scratch, or if you're needing help, figuring out how to make your online practice more sustainable and more financially successful, or if you're doing great with the money, but you don't have enough time, we've got levels for you.
So pop onto the website, or just email me. It's dramberlyda@gmail.com. And we can talk about what will be most helpful.
M: Perfect. Well, thanks for going there with me. We always do it. We always go there and share the realness, the transparency, breaking down some numbers, breaking down some shadows that come up when we start our own businesses, but I'm right there with you.
I wouldn't trade it for the world and being able to just take ownership of every day and make every day what I want it to be. If that's working a ton, if it's not working at all, it all contributes to the way that I want my life to be and that I get to live it the way I want. Aright, so I will see you again in a couple of months.
We'll do one more. We'll process the end of year and talk about closing out things, maybe for the business and talk about ... maybe we'll be in our new year energy and we'll be brighter on that one. We'll see. But thanks again for spending time with me today.
Alright, like I said, a bit of a vulnerability hangover after that one, but it's really important to me to be transparent with you guys. When you take on a side hustle, you will have something additional that you are doing. So that's something that's additional. It needs to be added to.
Of course, there will come a time, if it's your goal, that the side hustle will grow and you can shrink your practice. But until that time frame happens, you will be doing multiple things. So let's make sure that we set that up to be fun for you and enjoyable for you. And of course, as simple and streamlined as possible.
That's where side hustle comes in, but also something that really lights you up and gives you a sense of pride and purpose and all these things that we're looking for outside of the therapy room.
So again, if you know that that side hustle is something you want to chat about, you want to get more information about and just hear from people who've gone through the program who've been in your shoes as students make sure you enroll in Side Hustle.
I'd love to see you there, but make sure you RSVP for our open house because that's where you're going to get that behind-the-scenes sneak peek. You're gonna be able to talk to the support staff. You're gonna be able to talk to me and you're gonna be able to talk to alumni and just really get a solid picture of Side Hustle so you can make the decision that feels right for you. All right, until next time guys keep on rising.
