Why the Perfect Side Hustle Doesn't Exist
Joy. Fulfillment. Excitement. Magic.
This is what your side hustle ventures started out as.
But somewhere along the way, you went from feeling enthusiastic to downright exhausted.
There is a way out, and the secret is ✨LETTING GO✨.
When you strive for perfection in your online business, it can rob you of all those great feelings you had when you started.
Taking a step back and letting the evolution happen on its own is better for you, your process, and will further support the success of your online business.
If you’re reading this thinking “oh, she’s talking to me” then tune into the latest podcast episode and we’ll sort it out there together.
CLICK BELOW TO LISTEN!
Show Notes:
Hey Risers, welcome to episode 177 of Empathy Rising! Today was 'red, white, and blue' day at the girls' school, which yeah, we can debate the merits of that, but we'll just go with it. Red, white, and blue day. Sawyer, her favorite pair of shorts (and I have no idea why she's gravitated towards these, but yes, we're still wearing shorts here, it's 90)—her favorite pair of shorts) are knee-length and baggy.
They remind me of every music video from the nineties. She wore those. They're denim and they have a little fringe at the end. Cut-offs. Knee-length cut-offs. Baggy. They just crack me up every time, but that's our go-to pair of shorts.
She put on a white shirt with that and she's "mom, I don't have anything red" and I was like, "Okay, let me" so I went into my closet and got her a red flannel and tied it around her waist. I said, "if we're going to go with this, we're going to go with this".
She went to school today in the, like, baggy cut-offs, a white t-shirt, and a red flannel tied around her waist and I was like, "I win parenting today". That's what we had to do today. This is something that I've had to learn from being a mom. I'm sure everybody else listening can identify with this in one way or another.
Is that the outfit I would've chosen for my kid? If I were to pick her clothes out, no, but she's eight. I'm not going to pick her clothes out for her, and if those are her favorite shorts and if that's what she wants to wear. Awesome. Cool.
I cannot make sure that she has the perfect outfit every day. In fact, if I was to do that, I'd be micromanaging her. I wouldn't be allowing her to express herself and I wouldn't be helping her develop age-appropriate skills of picking out her own clothes.
This got me thinking today about how I cannot micromanage and pick the perfect outfit for her today. This is the same thing that you cannot do with your side hustle. Ha, see what I did there? Nice bridge, right? If I could urge everybody to stop making the same mistake that I see often.
Almost every student (and they know who they are and they know that I love them very much), but it's this idea of trying to build the perfect side hustle. That's what I am going to dive into today. Combating this mistake - stop trying to build the perfect side hustle.
I get this, especially because I have my own side hustle coming out at the end of the year. Rooted will officially launch to the waitlist on November 15th and will officially launch publicly on December 3rd. I feel like a brand newbie again and it's been really cool to walk parallel with my students this year.
Literally, they were writing their converting content and I was writing my converting content at the same time. They were writing their sales emails and I was writing my sales emails at the same time. To be doing these projects right along with them has really helped me see what it's like to be a newbie again, and to be starting something new.
It is scary as hell. It is not easy to be a newbie again. Last week I was talking about different losses that we fear. I'm trying to think of the best way to say these different fears that come up around loss, and one of them is our loss of efficacy.
We have been so effective at being clinicians for so long. For me, this is going to be round seven of Side Hustle. I know what I'm doing in this program and it just gets better and better, but I've never run Rooted before and I've never run a spiritual-woo-witchy program before either, even though it's very authentic to who I am, I've still never run a program like that before.
It's really scary to try something new. I talked about this last week too, we have put so much into this. We have thousands of student loans and thousands of hours of training and we have more money and time poured into advanced training.
The thing that I don't think gets talked about enough...one of my students, Jenny, who I'm going to have on the podcast in a few weeks, and she talks about vicarious trauma. When I think about her work, I also think about the weight that we carry as clinicians. We don't only have our own time and money invested into this. We have our spirit invested in being a clinician.
When we look at all that we've poured into this and then we're like, "oh, do I just want to walk away from that?" It can be scary, and not maybe walk away completely, but at least admit that part of me doesn't want this as much as I used to or wants something different.
Admitting that even before we even take one step of action, just even admitting that to ourselves can be really scary, but when we think about, "Okay, why are we admitting this to ourselves? Why do we want a side hustle?" It's probably a break from the mundane. We are so effective at this because we've been doing it for a really long time.
A side hustle gives a reprieve. It gives us a break from that mundane piece. Also, a way to move beyond the regulation. A way to not feel so suffocated in our work, a way to not feel so handcuffed in our work. And of course, the big one is more money and less time. Who doesn't want more money in less time?
But the undertaking of getting something off the ground requires a commitment. It just does. It requires another energy commitment from you. It requires another time commitment from you, and oftentimes it requires another money commitment from you.
Whether that money is investing in a proven program, like Side Hustle, that's going to help you get there on a straight path, or that money is spent buying ads on this and experimenting with that and you take more of a zigg-zaggy path.
Either way, you're going to be investing effort, energy, time, and money. When we think about, "Okay, I'm taking on something new on top of my practice and my family and all these other obligations that I have", we feel like, well it damn well better be worth it.
If I'm going to take on something new, it better be worth it. It needs to make the right amount of money. It needs to save us the right amount of time. It needs to allow us to cut out the right number of clients.
If you can hear that perfection already starting to come in the right amount of money, the right amount of time, the right amount of caseload, or the right amount of clients cut from our caseload.
That's how we get caught up in building the perfect side hustle. “If I'm going to do this, will it better work for me in this way?" and so if it needs to work for you in this way, then we're assigning a level of perfection to it. It has to yield X result, or it has to function in Y way.
We get really focused on the particulars of the side hustle and we want those particulars to be just so, but when we focus on perfection only from our side hustle, the first thing is we don't enjoy this process. We don't enjoy the fact that we're learning something new, that we're stepping out of our comfort zone, that we're trying something that we're evolving.
We feel also like every decision has to be calculated, and man, let me tell you, I ran my business that way for six years and it's exhausting. It's exhausting to always have the calculator out and be like, "is it going to be this and this? And what if I have five sales or what if I have 20 sales?" or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Should we run those scenarios? Absolutely. But do we need to feel like every single decision has to be calculated and that our business and our existence lives, breathes, rises, and falls with these calculations? That's the exhausting part.
When we believe that everything has to be calculated, then there's no room for error, because if this is the way the equation has to work, and there's no room for error, then it's where you're really dialled into that perfection. We don't leave any room for magic that way. We don't leave any room for serendipity or cool things to happen. You can call them coincidences. You can call them synchronicities.
You can call them whatever you want, but if everything's calculated and you give yourself no room for error, then you also give yourself no room for magic. No room for fun, no room for play, no room for "holy crap. I never expected that to happen".
Being so caught up in perfection makes it so everything fits in a rigid box. When we don't leave room for magic and these synchronicities to happen, we also dismiss the internal changes that are happening for ourselves.
When it has to be just so, we don't see how much our skills have grown, or how much our comfort level has grown, or the fact that we've learned a completely different language.
Now that we're in month eight of the program month, eight started today. At the time of recording, I can now tell my students, "go set up automation with a welcome email that has this, that" and it's like they've learned a completely new language. If I had talked to them in that way in month one, they would've been like, "wait, what? What's happening?"
When you're focused on perfection, you don't realize how much you are growing, how much your skill sets growing, how much your adaptability is growing, and also just how much your resilience is growing. This is why I believe in embracing the unknown. This is why I believe in treating your side hustle as an experiment and a playful, enjoyable thing - because yeah if you're doing something new, if you're taking on yet another thing, shouldn't it be fun? Shouldn't it be exciting? Shouldn't it be joyful? Shouldn't it be passionate?
One of the students in Voxer the other day (can't remember who it was because we get quite a few messages) posted this quote about the difference between, like, passion and work and when you're doing what you feel like you have to do, it's work.
When you feel like you are doing what you get to do, its passion (or something, I'm paraphrasing that), but that's what happens when you treat your side hustle as a journey instead of ripping onto it and white-knuckling it like it has to be perfect.
Will I walk you through tried and true systems and tried and true strategies? Absolutely. Will you get results? Absolutely. But if you're focused on these outcomes and if you're deathly attached to these outcomes, you're going to miss the whole point. You're going to miss the fun of the ride.
While we walk through my proven process to build your side hustle, you're going to do all of the things that we mentioned above; you're going to make money in new ways.
When you come into Side Hustle and you take my proven program and you walk alongside me, you're going to do all the things we talked about above. You're going to introduce a new "Joie de Vivre", a new zest for work.
You're going to be working in a way that allows you to be autonomous. You're also going to be learning to make more money in less time, the audience will come, and the money will come. All of those things will come.
You have to have a level of trust. You have to have a level of belief in yourself and you have to have a level of belief in the process. You will carve out more time for yourself outside the therapy room. You will be able to stop taking new clients and even perhaps reduce your caseload total, and you will be able to make therapy your side hustle if that's your main goal and to make your side hustle your main hustle.
These all will happen. They will happen over time and they will happen as you gain the skills inside the program. I don't want you to white-knuckle your way through this evolutionary process. This evolutionary process is my passion in the work.
Building your side hustle should be fun and exciting and new. If you're focused on making it perfect, you won't have any of that. Instead of focusing on making it perfect, can we then focus on making it fulfilling? Can we make it purposeful? Can we make it full of passion, so that it fulfils you?
When you join me in Side Hustle, you can count on me to guide you through the business stuff. That's my job. I will guide you through that. Then you can focus on these other important discoveries. I feel like this is like mining for gold. These are important discoveries that bubble up along the way, finding what actually brings you joy.
How will you find joy in your work? Let me show you the business stuff. Let me teach you these systems. Let me teach you these strategies and allow this joy to just be effervescent in you, allow this joy to bubble up. Find this passion. What drives you? What drives you? What do you want to bring to the world?
I also want to know, what do you need to prove to yourself? I know that sounds yucky when I just say it like that, but go with me for a second because I don't think we have anything to prove. We're all worthy. That's not what I mean.
What I mean is, is there a point in your life where you've always quit? It got too hard. It got too tiring. It got too stressful. It got too 'whatever' and so you quit. This can be in business. This can be at the gym, this could be at personal growth. This could be spiritually. This could be anything.
Where is the barrier that you need to push through? Is there a pattern or a cycle or something that keeps coming up that you need to push through? Where can you build resilience? Where can you prove to yourself that you are capable? Where can you prove to yourself that you can do it?
That's one of these amazing side benefits that come out of Side Hustle. You're working this nine-month program with me, but you're also a change maker, a cycle breaker. I have so many students who are generational cycle breakers. Who are changing patterns that have been in their families forever, "hard work is the only way to make money".
Let's break that. Let's make you more money in less time. Helpers and healers don't claim things for themselves. If you're a helper, you should come last, right? Let's break that pattern. Let's break that cycle. You get to build this resilience and you get to be a changemaker.
You get to be a changemaker and a pattern disruptor in your life, in the lives of your family, and the generations going forward.
I think that is what's cool: When you let go of the perfection, when you stop trying to force an outcome, and when you release the attachment to that outcome and just look at yourself and say, "I'm going to see what happens. I'm going to trust the process". You will build an audience. You will make sales. Those things are going to happen, and I'm going to guide you through those.
I think, for you as a listener, somebody who's considering investing in Side Hustle, those are probably your primary concerns: "Am I going to make money at this? And is this going to work for me?" and I can just tell you that it's worked seven rounds in a row. Seven rounds in a row—or six we're finishing round six. It's worked six rounds in a row.
You'll get the opportunity to ask other students and see how things are working for them, what their challenges have been, and what their successes have been. You can get the real story behind all of that.
For me, those things are less important. Those things are less important than the internal transformation that you're carving out for yourself. This is why I want you to join me in moving beyond perfection. This is why I want you to join me in detaching from the outcome.
When you work with me inside Side Hustle, this is what we're going to do. You're going to walk along, you're going to follow this path, I'm going to tell you when to do this and how to do that and what time to do this and all of those things and I want you in the process of all of that, to be finding your joy.
That way you can stop trying to build the perfect side hustle and instead start embracing your next evolution because that's what I think it’s really about. If you're ready for this, and if you are ready to yes, follow along with a tried and true system, have all the templates, have all the trackers, and have everything that you need at your disposal to make this happen, plus my guidance, plus the cohort's guidance, plus a graphic designer on staff, plus a copywriter on staff. Everything you need. If you're ready for that, I want you to check out our open house.
That's coming up on October 19th. This is our third annual open house. We've done this now for three years in a row, just to demonstrate the way that this program works, and the transformations this program gives from a business perspective and from a personal growth perspective.
You'll be able to check out Side Hustle. You'll be able to get all the details of how it works and you'll see what's coming up that's new for 2023. I know Shayna has some cool things planned for graphic design-wise for us, and also just any changes to the curriculum or anything because I'm always making this program better and better.
Of course, our support staff will be there. You can see what their role is like in the program and there will be current students and alumni there as well that you can pick their brains, that you can ask them anything you need to about what it's like to be a student. I always encourage them to be as honest as possible, to not hold back, and to share the good, the bad, the ugly, the hard, and the wonderful. All of it.
If you are considering Side Hustle for 2023, and you want to get this tangible, behind-the-scenes look and make the decision that's best for you, go ahead and register for the open house. The link is super easy, marissalawton.com/openhouse and this is where you're going to find all of that information.
Of course, there is a replay. Even if you can't attend on the 19th, it's going to be 7:00 PM Eastern, 4:00 PM Pacific. Even if you can't attend on the 19th, still register, because that's the way that you're going to get that replay link and be able to check it out for yourself. Alright, guys, I think this wraps up today.
Stop trying to build the perfect side hustle and until next time, keep on rising.
